lesson 17 Parenting

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Matthew 18:6

凡 使 这 信 我 的 一 个 小 子 跌 倒 的 , 倒 不 如 把 大 磨 石 拴 在 这 人 的 颈 项 上 , 沉 在 深 海 里 . 马太福音18:6




Many people read the verse from up above and attribute Jesus’ words to adults who sexually mistreat children or physically abuse them. Certainly, these words would apply to such impenitent people as that, however, have you considered other applications to these words of Jesus? What about…


· The dad who refuses to discipline his children

· 拒绝管教孩子的爸爸

· The mom who never had time for her children growing up

· 从来没有时间陪伴孩子成长的妈妈

· The divorced home

· 离异家庭

· The home where Christianity is null and void except for an occasional appearance at church throughout the year

· 一年里除了偶尔出现在教会,基督教在家庭中的作用无足轻重。

Parenting is a far greater responsibility than most of us are willing to admit. Like many things in life, we just accept the skills for parenting to drop out of the sky and fall into our brains, only discovering sometimes too late that these gifts never fell from the sky.


The good news is that the Bible is full of tips and advice for Christian households. Since God created us, he ought to know how we are to be parented as well.

好消息是圣经给基督徒家庭诸多窍门和忠告。既然神创造了我们,他诚然 也知道怎样抚养我们。

wps-clip-image-11802Psalm 139:13-16 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

诗篇139:13-16我 的 肺 腑 是 你 所 造 的 ; 我 在 母 腹 中 , 你 已 覆 庇 我 .

14我 要 称 谢 你 , 因 我 受 造 , 奇 妙 可 畏 ; 你 的 作 为 奇 妙 , 这 是 我 心 深 知 道 的 .

15我 在 暗 中 受 造 , 在 地 的 深 处 被 联 络 ; 那 时 , 我 的 形 体 并 不 向 你 隐 藏 .

16我 未 成 形 的 体 质 , 你 的 眼 早 已 看 见 了 ; 你 所 定 的 日 子 , 我 尚 未 度 一 日 ( 或 译 : 我 被 造 的 肢 体 尚 未 有 其 一 ) , 你 都 写 在 你 的 册 上 了 .

Parents must be goal oriented


Parents continually try to help their children figure out what they want to do in life because they want their children to succeed. In order to help our children discover their gifts we might say, “You might be good at this; you should try to go to ———- school.” As parents we all recognize the importance of seeing further into the future than just the next video game that our child is going to play with his/her friend.


Genesis 18:19 For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.“

创世纪18:19我 眷 顾 他 , 为 要 叫 他 吩 咐 他 的 众 子 和 他 的 眷 属 遵 守 我 的 道 , 秉 公 行 义 , 使 我 所 应 许 亚 伯 拉 罕 的 话 都 成 就 了 .

· Abraham was goal-oriented and that was that they keep the commands of the LORD. He did not leave this duty up to others.

· 亚伯拉罕是有目标导向的人,目标就是要他的孩子们遵守神的诫命。他没有把这个责任留给其他人。

Consider the following goals a parent might have for his child and how the behavior of the family will be affected by that goal…


· Working hard at whatever job you do

· 无论你做什么工作,要努力去做

· Keeping a strong faith in Jesus

· 持守对耶稣的坚定信仰

· Being successful with the gifts that God has granted you in life

· 用神赋予你人生的恩赐获得成功

· Finding a Christian spouse

· 寻找一位基督徒配偶

· Being a productive servant of Christ in life either in full-time ministry or in lay ministry

· 无论是全职侍奉或是作为平信徒在教会服侍要做一个一生能多结果子的基督的仆人。

You brought these children into the world


Whether it was the heat of passion, or a well-planned and thoughtfully considered event, or just one of those ”accidents“ that took place when you thought you were done having children, never forget who brought those lambs of God into the world.


Consider the impact that the following organizations can have regarding the nurturing of our children…


· The government did not bring these children into the world

· 政府没把这些孩子带入世界

· The church didn’t bring your children into the world

· 教会没把你的孩子带入世界

· Schools didn’t bring your children into the world

· 学校没把你的孩子带入世界

· Day-care centers didn’t bring your children into the world

· 托管中心没把你的孩子带入世界

· Grandparents and other relatives didn’t bring your children into the world

· 祖父母和其他亲戚没把你的孩子带入世界


You brought your children into the world and therefore properly caring for your children both physically and especially spiritually must be your top priority. Or else, who know what they might look like in this life or worse yet, in eternity…


Read the following…


1 Timothy 5:8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

提摩太前书5:8人 若 不 看 顾 亲 属 , 就 是 背 了 真 道 , 比 不 信 的 人 还 不 好 , 不 看 顾 自 己 家 里 的 人 , 更 是 如 此 .

God’s goals for us


Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

箴言22:6 教 养 孩 童 , 使 他 走 当 行 的 道 , 就 是 到 老 他 也 不 偏 离 .

What we choose for our child to eat each day will in many ways set the course for the child’s long-term diet. If he was raised with a healthy balance of food, he will most likely continue such a diet in his future years with his future family. The same will be true with the spiritual habits that we instill in our children. Consider the following habits…


· If studying God’s Word at home is not modeled by the parent, it most like won’t be… (finish the sentence)

· 如果父母没有在家中树立学习神话语的榜样,很可能将来不会…(完成句子)

· If church attendance was sporadic in the home and not regular, we can expect our children to…

· 如果家里只是偶尔而不是经常地去教会,可想而知我们的孩子…

· If leisure was at least as important if not more important than worshipping our God in life, then we can expect our children…

· 如果娱乐至少和在生活中敬拜神一样重要,那么,可想而知我们的孩子

· If we expect the church to teach our children God’s Word, we can expect our children to look to…

· 如果我们指望教会来教导孩子神的话语,可想而知我们的孩子指望…

· If we expect the schools our children attend to teach our children about the origin of life, we can expect our children…

· 如果我们指望孩子的学校来教导关于生命的起源,可想而知我们的孩子…

wps-clip-image-18586Ephesians 6:4 - Bring your children up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

以弗所书6:4你 们 作 父 亲 的 , 不 要 惹 儿 女 的 气 , 只 要 照 着 主 的 教 训 和 警 戒 养 育 他 们

  1. Who are those instructions directed to? The father or the mother?


  1. Who do you think typically does the instructing in Christian homes, the mother or the father?


Joshua 24:15 - Joshua declared, ”As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.“

约书亚记24:15 约书亚宣告,”至 於 我 和 我 家 , 我 们 必 定 事 奉 耶 和 华 .“

We should keep this goal constantly before us as though our child’s destiny were on the line.


With every good goal there must also be a good plan


wps-clip-image-28377Even God makes plans. Read the following…


1 Peter 1:18-20 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20 He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.

彼得前书1:18-20知 道 你 们 得 赎 , 脱 去 你 们 祖 宗 所 传 流 虚 妄 的 行 为 , 不 是 凭 着 能 坏 的 金 银 等 物 , 19乃 是 凭 着 基 督 的 宝 血 , 如 同 无 瑕 疵 、 无 玷 污 的 羔 羊 之 血 . 20基 督 在 创 世 以 前 是 预 先 被 神 知 道 的 , 却 在 这 末 世 才 为 你 们 显 现 .

God set the course of our salvation before the creation of this world. And that plan was executed with pin-point accuracy when Christ came into the world and redeemed us from sin. Read the following…


Galatians 4:4,5 But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, 5 to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.

加拉太书4:4,5及 至 时 候 满 足 , 神 就 差 遣 他 的 儿 子 , 为 女 子 所 生 , 且 生 在 律 法 以 下 , 5要 把 律 法 以 下 的 人 赎 出 来 , 叫 我 们 得 着 儿 子 的 名 分 .

God expects parents to plan for their child’s future


Proverbs 14:22 Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.

箴言14:22谋 恶 的 , 岂 非 走 入 迷 途 麽 ? 谋 善 的 , 必 得 慈 爱 和 诚 实 .

It has been said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. If those intentions or plans in life leave God or Christ out of the picture, it’s plan destined for failure. But those who make plans in accordance with the will of God, written in the Bible will find love and faithfulness from God .


If you send your child to a public school in America from the 5th grade through the 12th grade (11 years old – 18 years old), this is what you can expect your children to be bombarded by…


  • Lying


  • Profanity, dirty jokes, etc. (students and teachers)


  • Drinking, smoking, drugs


  • Violence and fighting (students with students or with teachers)


  • Immodesty, lack of dress codes, coed gym with immodest uniforms


  • bad crowds of people


  • 7 of 8 students personally knew children who used drugs in random interview


  • Ridicule and making fun of children who are good or different


  • Gossip, slander, tweeting, sexting, backstabbing on facebook


  • Cheating


  • Stealing and vandalism and lack of respect for authority


  • Dancing with no modesty


  • False goals (popularity, wealth)


  • Classes that justify evolution, abortion, homosexuality, situation ethics, contraceptives, divorce, premarital sex, etc.


  • Reading assignments with immorality, violence, etc.


  • Sexual promiscuity at school - petting at school, pregnant girls, children talking openly about sexual relations, everyone expected to do it, etc.


  • Schedule conflicts with church activities


Are you prepared to hand your child over to the state for education (in America)?


Private Christian education mitigates some of these abuses and minimizes the influence of them taking place at the school, but does not entirely eliminate them because sin still finds its way out of the human heart. However, unlike the state, the church has been given the authority to curb such behavior with guidance from God’s Word and condemn certain behaviors as immoral and forbidden by God.


Home schooling is another option that is growing increasingly popular in this country. The U.S. Department of Education’s National Center for Education statistics estimate as many as 2 million (about 4% of school-aged children) children are be schooled by their parents and analysts expect this number to continue and grow as America continues its moral decline.


What are your children watching on television


The average American watches TV 50 hours per week - ten hours more than the average workweek.

美国人平均每周看50小时电视节目- 超过了一周的工作时间10 个小时。

A study of 58 hours of prime-time TV revealed: 5 rapes, 7 homosexual acts, 28 acts of prostitution, and 41 examples of sexual relations between unmarried people. But this study was in 1983! (Christian Inquirer)


It has been estimated that, by the time the average child reaches age 18, he will have witnessed more than 15,000 murders on TV or in movies.


Many Christians think nothing of letting children attend PG or PG-13 movies. Here is a survey of the contents of PG and PG-13 movies in 1988:

许多基督徒认为让孩子看PG( 家长陪同) or PG-13(13岁以下儿童不宜观看)的电影很平常。下面是1988年对于PG and PG-13的电影内容的调查:

25% have the ”f-word.“


61% take God’s name in vain.


71% contain vulgar references to excretion, intercourse, or genitals.


50% imply sexual intercourse.


13% show intercourse.


30% show explicit nudity.


75% include moderate or severe violence.


74% depict alcohol or drug abuse


Modern music


On the average, ”teens listen to 10,500 hours of rock between 7-12 grades … just 500 hours less than the total time they spend in school over 12 years“ (US News and World Report)。

平均来讲,”7-12年级的少年要听10,500小时的摇滚音乐…只比他们在校整整12年的总体时间少500小时“( 美国新闻和世界报道)。

Consider the problems with modern music. There is a strong overtone of lyrics that celebrate drugs, sex, and violence


Fathers and mothers must work together


Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

以弗所书6:4你 们 作 父 亲 的 , 不 要 惹 儿 女 的 气 , 只 要 照 着 主 的 教 训 和 警 戒 养 育 他 们

Proverbs 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

箴言1:8我 儿 , 要 听 你 父 亲 的 训 诲 , 不 可 离 弃 你 母 亲 的 法 则 ( 或 译 : 指 教 )

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

以弗所书6:1你 们 作 儿 女 的 , 要 在 主 里 听 从 父 母 , 这 是 理 所 当 然 的 .

Children are to be obedient to both parents as both of them have been given charge over their children by God. However, the Bible, without exception attributes all discipline to the role of the father and not the mother. There will certainly be exceptions to this role if dad is dead or divorced, but God’s will is that the father train and discipline his sons and daughters.


It’s important that family rules remain consistent. Don’t call each other out and correct each other in front of the children. Discuss your plan and agree upon it and then execute it with love. And never stop praying for your children. We learn this lesson from King David…


1 Chronicles 29:19 And give my son Solomon the wholehearted devotion to keep your commands, requirements and decrees and to do everything to build the palatial structure for which I have provided.”

历代志29:19又 求 你 赐 我 儿 子 所 罗 门 诚 实 的 心 , 遵 守 你 的 命 令 、 法 度 、 律 例 , 成 就 这 一 切 的 事 , 用 我 所 预 备 的 建 造 殿 宇 .

最后更新于 2013年7月22日 星期一 20:10