Preparing For Marriage
The following questions have been developed to help you think through some important aspects of marriage with your intended spouse. You are to answer each question by checking the Yes or No column after each statement. After you have answered the questions, you will discuss them with your future spouse and the pastor to help prepare you for a strong, healthy married life. Be prepared to explain your answers as we discuss them. Feel free to add notes as we work through the questions together.
A.My Relationship With My Spouse 我与配偶的关系
- Next to God, my spouse is the most important person in the world to me.
I can expect that the feelings my spouse and I have for each other will remain basically the same throughout our marriage.
I do not fully know either myself or my spouse.
I believe that my spouse and I do and will agree on most of the issues that we will face in our marriage.
The more familiar I become with my spouse, the less time I will need to take to communicate with him/her.
I do not think that it is wise or helpful for my spouse and I to keep secrets from each other.
My growth in faith in Christ will be very helpful to the quality of my relationship with my spouse.
In marriage, forgiveness for each other is understood and does not need to be verbally requested or granted.
It is foolish for me to assume that I know what my spouse is feeling or thinking about something without me asking him/her.
When a problem develops in my marriage, it will be helpful to determine who is at fault and then assign the proper amount of blame to each individual.
I consider divorce to be a permissible action to take if things do not work out the way I would like them to between my spouse and me.
There may be times in my marriage when it would be helpful to seek the counsel of my pastor.
B.Our Home And Family Life 我们的家及家庭生活
- I believe that children are a precious gift of God and desire to have children, if God grants them.
God permits couples to use means of preventing pregnancies.
1Cor. 10: 23-24, 31, 23“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.24No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
林前 10: 23-24, 31, 凡事都可行，但不都有益处。凡事都可行，但不都造就人。无论何人，不要求自己的益处，乃要求别人的益处。 31 所以，你们或吃或喝，无论做什么，都要为荣耀 神而行。
1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
彼前 3:7 你们作丈夫的也要按情理（原文作“知识”）和妻子同住；因她比你软弱（“比你软弱”原文作“是软弱的器皿”），与你一同承受生命之恩的， 所以要敬重她。这样，便叫你们的祷告没有阻碍。
Problems with infertility are something to suffer in silence and keep to yourself.
Aborting a pre-born child when the life of the mother is not in danger
is a sinful taking of human life.
Children will have a rather small impact on our marriage.
The most important need a child has is to have a saving relationship with God.
Husbands are to be the spiritual heads and leaders of their families.
The primary duties of a wife and mother are to love her husband and children and to look after their well-being.
My spouse and children can expect that their greatest joys in life will come from the family itself.
It is very important for the happiness of my family that we always reach agreement on the matters that deeply concern us.
I can hurt my family members by being too absorbed in their lives and by ignoring my individual needs.
I will probably learn the greatest lessons about human sin and God’s grace in the experiences I have with my family members.
- Making money is one of the most worthwhile goals we can strive to reach in our lives.
God is really the Owner of all we have and He gives us the job of managing these things to serve His purposes in life.
To save money at first, it is best for newlyweds to live with one set of parents.
The spouse who best manages money should be the handler of the family finances.
Budgeting for family expenses is not very practical because spending priorities can easily lead to arguments and because unexpected expenses always seem to arise anyway.
The “I-have-to-have-it-now” philosophy is the biggest problem families face with their finances.
Giving a generous portion of my income for my God and His work is the first obligation I have with the income I receive.
Saving and investing money for future needs are disciplines that couples should begin early in their marriage.
Making a will and/or other estate plans are matters that a young family does not have to be concerned about.
- My relationship with God is something that I deeply care about and am devoting a good deal of my time and energy to develop.
I am confident that I will go to heaven when I die.
I currently attend worship services regularly with my future spouse and am encouraging him/her to grow spiritually by my actions.
I am regularly involved in an organized study of God’s Word in my church or Christian fellowship.
I personally read the Bible and pray to God regularly and intend to do that with my spouse when we are married.
I understand the teachings of the Bible fairly well and am able to explain them clearly to other people
Since religion is such a personal matter, I think that it is wise not to discuss religious differences that I may have with my spouse.
For good or bad, parents have a tremendous influence on the spiritual life of their children.
My actions in obedience to Jesus Christ are just as important as the words I speak to confess and praise Him.
Babies are born sinful and should be baptized as soon as possible.
E. Love And Sex 爱与性
- A good sexual relationship with my spouse is the key factor in having a fulfilling marriage.
God loves me unselfishly and wants me to love my spouse in the same self-giving way.
Sexual relations before marriage or outside of marriage are permissible as long as the people involved genuinely care about each other.
God will forgive people who sincerely repent of their sins of sexual immorality.
I cannot possibly love my intended spouse any more than I do right now.
My faith in God will have a strong influence in my love life with my spouse.
Sexual relations should be a pleasurable experience for both the husband and wife.
My spouse and I should be ready to respond to each other’s desire for sexual relations at any time.
In a good marriage, the sexual aspect will generally take care of itself.
F. Social Life 社交生活
Trying to get along with my intended spouse’s family is very important to me.
Since a married couple have each other’s companionship, they do not need much contact with other people.
Long separations for the sake of getting an education or advancing one’s career have very little impact on a marriage.
I have some Christian friends and family members who can and will be a wholesome influence on my marriage.